I’ve always wanted to call myself a writer. I earned a degree in English with this goal in view. But funny thing, writers write. As life started happening, I actually started to write less. Life seemed to get in the way. At some point I began to ask myself why I wanted to write at all. I had this dream of being able to go to a library and pull a copy of my book off the shelf. But when I started to ask myself why I had this dream, the answer scared me. I knew full well that my motivation was to make my name known. To be famous. To write a book that won me praise. And that rightly frightened me. The more God has changed me, the more I am certain that my purpose is to know Him and to make Him known, not to make myself known. So I determined that I would write only if it glorifies God, honors Him, and makes His name known. But more years went by and I still didn’t write much. I wondered if I was squandering an ability God has given me and I would pray (occasionally) about what God would have me do. To write or not to write, that was my question. 

A few years ago, I was offered a substitute teaching position at Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and that has afforded me opportunities to write a weekly doctrine talk and a monthly lecture. Perfect! God was giving me a chance to use what He’s given me to make Him known. And then Pastor Mike approached me several months back about writing a blog for the church website. I immediately said yes, because I knew it was God offering me another opportunity to use my love of writing to glorify God and to make Him known. 

In a spirit of honesty, there is a second reason that I haven’t written that much. There is a loud voice I wrestle with that tells me I can’t do things; that I’m not smart enough; that I’m not a good writer; that I should give up. And I’ve listened to this bullying voice one too many times. I wonder if you too have such a voice you listen to? 

When I started to write for BSF I wrote one of my favorite verses on a sticky note and stuck it on the wall by my computer. It’s from Zechariah 4:6 where God said to Zerubbabel through the prophet: “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit.” I have to constantly recite this to myself remembering that if God calls me to something – when God calls any of us to something – He is going to get it done in His power. So it’s not about our ability at all, but about what God can do. And nothing is impossible for God!

Think of this, even great men of faith like Moses struggled with the same problem. In Exodus 3 God directed Moses to approach Pharaoh so that the children of Israel could  leave Egypt. In chapter 4 verse 10, Moses listened to his bullying voice and made excuses: “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” Moses was concerned about going before Pharaoh and making a fool of himself stuttering and stammering. But listen to God’s response in verse 11: “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them site or makes them blind? Is it not I the Lord?” God creates the people as they are and God does the work! Ultimately, the Lord was gracious to Moses and allowed Aaron to go along as the spokesman, but I wonder what might have happened if Moses had just gone alone and allowed God to speak through Him? Because God was going to get it done no matter what. God is going to get it done. If he calls us to do something we can trust 100% that in spite of ourselves God will do what He has planned. 

So even when the voice is speaking loudly in my ear that I can’t write anything that’s worth reading or if the voice speaks in your ear that you’re not good enough or smart enough or fit enough, let’s do this instead of listen to the lying voice: (1) pray that we would take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) and (2) repeat Zechariah 4:6 to ourselves “It’s not by might, nor by power, but by [His] Spirit” remembering where the real ability lies. When God calls, God equips – and God will get it done for His glory through us, very imperfect vessels. 

My prayer is that God would use this imperfect vessel (me) to write this little blog in order to help you know Him better so you can better make Him known. 

For His Glory, Kelly